Looking and seeing are two very different things… we look at a ton of things everyday… scenes out windows, passing cars, advertisements, people coming and going, news, and so many million bits of info pass before our eyes.
The dictionary says to look is to glance and to see is to perceive. I want to “see” people not just look at them. I want to get to know them and see them for who they want to be…their potential as humans. My husband hates this about me. I am always looking deeper and wanting to see the good in everyone we encounter. He argues that some have no good. I disagree. If we could see their heart, their God-given talents, their intentions, their truths, we would see good. But most never even look past the outward appearance.
When I take pictures I want a glimpse inside. I get a peek at their heart as I watch how they treat their spouse and how they interact with their children. I see their joy as they scoop up a grandbaby and throw them in the air. So when I snap my shutter, it’s not a picture of what it looks like, it’s what I see in them and what they see in each other.
This discussion was very apparent with my 12 year old at a basketball game this last season. My husband coaches a local high school team so we have been to all the games and feel like we have gotten to know the players a little. That coupled with my husbands nightly feedback about what great kids they are and how hard they work, has painted a picture of each of the boys. At one particular game, a player we especially adore had the ball stolen from him. In order to stop a fast break and an easy basket from his opponent, he quickly reached out and fouled the player who stole the ball from him. Now often times in that situation, a player will foul out of frustration and more often than not, a bit rougher than is necessary. This wasn’t one of those cases. This kids is a smart player and did not foul out of retaliation. BUT the referee not only called the foul but a flagrant foul on him. My son was livid!!! How could the ref make that call?! He’s a great kid that doesn’t do stuff like that! It wasn’t even a hard foul! That’s refs an idiot! It’s not fair!
What a great teaching moment! I explained that while I agreed with him 100%, our perception of this play was very jaded since we knew the heart of the player more than the ref did. The ref called it as it looked. We were calling it as we saw into the players heart and intentions.
So what are we putting out there? Are we more worried about what we look like or what people see? Is our social media life the real us? Do we make nice in certain situations and then turn around and talk it down?
Looking and seeing…Let your clients SEE you and in return work to SEE them. Look past the imperfections-we all have them. Make it a point to judge based on their best day not their worst moment. This is how you build lasting relationships.
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